I now live in the shadow of the threat of Office Sweets. In the old days, Donut Thursday was a known evil. Something for which I could come prepared, even if only to be ultimately overborne by the enemies sheer power of seduction. However, now, things have changed, and perhaps for the worse.
Through a series of circumstances, Donut Thursdays are no longer an institution at the office.
At its core, this war is an ideological confrontation between those who diet, and those who do not. Those who diet remain staunchly opposed to communal fatty foods brought into the office and left anonymously in the kitchen. Those who do not diet.
Co-workers have yet to align themselves according to the Allied Dieters and the Axis of Snackers, though relations are beginning to chill. As yet, Axis Snackers have made overtures to the Allied Dieters, going to far as to push back Happy Hour so Sideshow Blob and I could race home and squeeze in our Plyometrics Session. However, with Blob Bulletin: 30 Days rapidly approaching, the latent terror of the weigh-in, photos, and music-facing has me keeping the Axis Snackers at arm’s length for this next week.
At the end of the day, though, “Let us not be deceived: we are today in the midst of a cold war.”
[For any semblance of historical parallel, credit: Cold War]