Battle of Breakfast

This just in: Morning Bun defeats long-time champion Butter Croissant to capture title of worlds most inappropriate office breakfast.

Butter Croissant was overheard before the match-up nonchalantly scoffing in Morning Bun’s general direction: “Dude, you’re not even that flaky! You realize I can un-sleek a black suit the minute even my corner escapes my paper bag, right?”

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Unruffled, Morning Bun replied, “I may not be flaky, but am alternately gooey and gritty. Scientifically, my sticky sugar granules find places to ruin that your flakes canteen contemplate. Oh, and perhaps you failed to notice but it’s a khaki-suit-day, not a black-suit-day, rendering your tawny flakes relatively imperceptible.”

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And, of course, Morning Bun was right. Fingers, cheeks, documents, and file folders are all embarrassingly stuck together, and forearms are chafed near-raw by the gritty sugar coating blanketing the marble desk top.

Sources report that this brings the master tally to:

Starbucks Bakery Case – 4,383,723

Blob’s Wardrobe – 0

Blob’s Dignity – [withdrawn from competition]

(Photos Jacked From: Starbucks)

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