The unthinkable has happened.
I have been invited to a water slide party. Too bad for me that, in this aspect of life, I’m moo-vin’ on out (of the confines of my swimsuit), instead of movin’ on up. Week(s) of justifying my morning coffee and bagel with back episodes of Million Dollar Decorators instead of anything resembling a workout has taken a toll on my mid-to-lower-mid section.
The invitation says something to the effect of:
- Attire: Swimsuit (Not optional)
- Venue: So very public.
- D-Day: Two weeks from right now.
- RSVP: (Reduce-body-mass-asap, si vous plait)
This is an emergency.
Before we get all Tyra-meets-Oprah-meets-Tracy Gold about body image here, let’s remember that this party is about seeing and being seen in swimsuits. It’s not a swimming party, a biking party, a running party, a yoga party, or a party focused on anything else I could easily throw down. (Ok maybe that’s not ENTIRELY true. I think this may be a bit of a beer-drinking party, and I can definitely throw down there.). Needless to say, nutrition just became a priority.
Hasta la vista, hot wings. Arrivederci, cookies and croissants. I shall sorely miss you, cocktails, beer, and wine in excess of one serving per day (Hey- we’ve got to be realistic here!). I’ll see you (all) the morning after the water slide party (10:00AM sharp. I’ll be the one in the elastic-waisted pants.). Until the party, I am vigilantly committed to AM/PM workouts, portion limitation, and self-control.