To Fail to Plan is to Plan to Blob

According to Adelle Davis, to Eat Right to Keep Fit you should “eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper.”

Me?  I usually eat breakfast like a bird (if at all), lunch like a glutton, and dinner like a blob.  I am perpetually racing out the door like a maniac in the mornings, (Damn you, Snooze!).  So, breakfast is usually a cup of coffee spiked with hairspray left 1/2 full on my bathroom counter between a still-on flattening iron threatening to destroy 300 some-odd wrong-shade lipstick samples.  Other times there’s a cold piece of pizza or a year-older co-worker’s leftover birthday cake. 

Lunch is typically my biggest meal of the day, and consists of whichever drive-through is close enough to run to before everyone else gets dialed-in and muted on this conference call.  Or else there’s my other standby: vending machine mystery basket.


And dinner? Dinner is Happy Hour.

The pattern here (aside from prima facie dietary heinosity) is that there is no pattern, no regularity, no plan.  At every opportunity to eat I am utterly unprepared.  I haven’t stocked my home with healthy choices.  I haven’t brought my own food from home to fend off the office onslaught.  I haven’t checked out area eateries to make educated lunchtime choices.  I haven’t defrosted anything for dinner.  As a result, at every opportunity to eat I am too frantic, too harried, too late, too busy, or too dang tired to do the right thing.  I fail to plan, which is why I plan to blob.

To try and break this habit, and to alleviate the stress that comes with feeling unprepared and set-up for failure, I’m taking the following (baby) steps:

  1. Healthy choices on hand (Non-healthy choices NOT on hand).
  2. The pre-portioned training wheels are on (if there are only 100 calories per package, there are only 100 calories to eat)
  3. Bite the bullet, not the Butterfinger (just say NO to office sweets)
  4. Pack lunch, and only eat what you bring.  Once it’s gone, it’s gone.  (Even if it’s gone by 11:00AM)
  5. When all else fails — there’s an App for That.
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