How to Survive Someone Else’s Personal Crisis: Part 2


How do you give to someone all that they need from you while still being true to yourself?  You want to just give them their way, perceiving that it’s all they have.  But you still have to live this life, too.  Can you really just give everything away?  If you could only just say the words they need to hear without chipping away at your own personal integrity.  If you could just admit they were right, take their advice, let them have the last word – they would be better, right?  Or if not better totally, at least better off. 

Alternately, how do you gird the retaining wall of your own personality without being heartlessly withdrawn?  It is unfeeling to be defensive at a time like this, and it defies all rules of interpersonal relationships to think that the best defense is a good offense.   Isn’t there something about taking care of yourself first so you can better take care of others?  (Or is that just for airline oxygen masks?)

Jacked From: via Shelby Horn on Pinterest.


My sense now is that you don’t do either.  If there is only one of life’s lessons that is easy to know, difficult to understand, and damn near impossible to practice, it is that there will be balance.  There will be balance in all things whether you float lifelessly along it ever-yeilding to the forces from without, or whether you rail incessantly against it, ever high-kicking the outside from within.  Your actions invite inverse reactions. 

This is why you feel that you can never get it right.  This is why – no matter what you give – the world needs something else.  It’s not that the world needs something else because you gave the wrong thing.  It’s quite the opposite, actually.  The world CAN need something else because it already has whatever it was that you gave. 

Jacked Form: via Pinterest.

Everyone knows the reward for good work is more work.  When you give of yourself and more is demanded –  always something more and always something different – resist the urge to martyr yourself on the worn out (and frankly tacky) cross of never being good enough.  Rather than stitching together the quilted guilt of so many perceived missteps, instead just do you very best with whatever you have wherever you can.  My bet is that it will be just good enough, what you’re doing, to enable the world to ask you to do something else.


*Tony Horton.  The man knows things, and not just about Plyometrics.


One comment

  1. Nice! You got it right again, Ern.
    Seems to me It’s all about balance. No one is ever able to do everything as much or as well as they’d like. Moreover, the requirements change continually: some days they demand more, some days less. The balance is the hard part. Horton’s words are good ones.

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