A Christmas Miracle

After blowing off a workout last night to meet a friend for drinks, then getting cornered by an aggressive promoter slinging free shots, then getting cornered by an aggressive waitress insisting on hot wings, I am all to pleased to report (From Women’s Health Magazine, no less) that my loftiest Christmas wish has been fulfilled.  According to the magazine’s reporting on a recent study, those who regularly (nightly!) drink one or two drinks tend to lose weight or maintain lower weights despite taking in more calories overall.

Jacked From: en.wikipedia.org with SOME editing
Jacked From: en.wikipedia.org with SOME editing

It’s biology, see, because those folks condition themselves to metabolize alcohol better (It’s really like a form of training, when you get right down to it.).  I’m filing this under “Stuff I’ve Been Preaching For YEARS,” right along side “Stop Using Hand Sanitizer: You’re Jeopardizing the Future of Humanity by Creating Supergerms,” and “Dairy Is Still Fine Even If It’s Been Out Of The Fridge For an Hour.”  Of course, conditioning yourself to metabolize two drinks a night doesn’t okay you for four drinks a night.  And the deal doesn’t include wings (We’ll get there, though, right, Science?).  But still, one Christmas miracle, no matter how small, is still a Christmas miracle.

So, Merry Christmas all you blobs!  May you take this seasonal joyous (medical!) fact and enjoy it all the year through!

Jacked From: ifunny.com with SOME editing
Jacked From: ifunny.com with SOME editing
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