Blob Lang Syne 2012

THE END

It’s a natural time for reflection, right?  A time to reflect on how things went, whether goals were achieved and, if not, how they can be better pursued.  I don’t feel like doing that at all, though.  The only thing I care about doing is moving forward.  In looking forward to the next year, I’ve had a lot of fun and felt a lot of excitement about new goals for 2013, but have also honed in on my aversion to focusing on the review part.  So, in the interest of accountability, here’s a brief breakdown of the Bloblessness Project 2012:


Got It
Missed It
Ignored It

THE BLOBLESSNESS PROJECT 2012
BODY(FITNESS) BITES(NUTRITION) BALANCE(UH, BALANCE)
JANUARY Jumpstart Race Weight 1 book/month
FEBRUARY ATX 13.1 4 home lunches/wk 1 Sat./month
MARCH San Antonio 13.1 Grocery 1/wk House 1/wk
APRIL Begin Tri Training 3 home dinners/wk Laundry 1/wk
MAY CapTexTri-1st Olympic Medical Check Up Cert. Proj.
JUNE Atlas Ride 70-miler 1 & 3 Cocktail Limits 30-days yoga
JULY Olympic Tri 2 Veg Every Meal Post-a-day
AUGUST Reunion Ride Multi Vitamin 1 Sat./month
SEPTEMBER Olympic Tri PR Dental Check Up Living Plant
OCTOBER ATX 70.3JUMPSTART 64 oz H20 day No Soda Best ShotBetter Bedtime
NOVEMBER Wurst Ride13.1 Training Vision Check Up2-drink Max 30-day yoga Yoga Week
DECEMBER 12 Days of Fitmas70.3 Training Cleanse3-drink Max Holiday MealBirthday Treats!

BEYOND THE END

Even though I suffered a major ending at the close of 2011, 2012 still represented some major ending for me.  This year was all about learning that an end is not always (or ever?) a single stinging snap of static electricity.  It’s a process and, like all processes, it happens over time.  The ending itself happens over time.  So even though a single event may catalyze “The End” and come to serve as a symbol for the end in my mind, there really is only an ending, not an end.

This idea has been really helpful for me to stop myself from eddying in destructive cycles.  Initially, during my own ending through 2011 and part of 2012, I would see each new particulate event as a beginning, a starting, an “oh, crap, here we go again!”  This outlook made me feel continually knocked-down in a hopeless Sisyphean way.  I would announce to myself, “That’s it.  It’s over.  It’s finally The End.”  But then something more would happen, an additional hurt, another End.  It felt like I was being contradicted because every time I would announce an End, there would be another uninvited encore, another frustrating epilogue.

Eventually I came to realize that this was all the ending, the process of reaching an end.  Rather than a string of uncontrollable whack-a-mole beginnings frustratingly stuffed down to unsatisfying ends, these were steps in a continuing and continual process of winding down.  Each event served to bring me through the process of ending.  By understanding that I didn’t have to leap from one final End-precipice, but rather need only to descend from a more gradually Ending-slope, I enabled myself to do more than just End.  I was able to start the starting, the being, and the becoming.  By compartmentalizing The End from The Beginning, I made myself feel like I couldn’t start the starting, the being, or the becoming before I was done with The End.  That was limiting.  And frustrating.  And maddening.  And false.

And so being at another arbitrary End on New Year’s Eve, I’m less interested in focusing on how things look at The End.  I’m much more interested in and excited about the starting, and the being, and the becoming.  There’s more of 2012 left to be resolved, I guess: goals unmet, challenged not bested, higher consciousnesses not achieved.  But 2013 is here now, and I don’t have to have every box of 2012 checked in order to start THE BEGINNING.

Jacked From: myrevelment.com via Pinterest
Jacked From: myrevelment.com via Pinterest
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