Blob’s Notes: A Cheat Sheet

blobsnotes

A Blob’s Life: Year in Review

Genre: bildungsroman (coming of age)
Period: 2016
Setting: Central Texas, primarily
Main Characters: The Blob; The Bloblet; Superfan; Granddude; and The Universe (man)
Major Thematic Topics: Control, teamwork, balance, realism vs. idealism
Motifs: realism, self-doubt
Major Symbols: Finisher’s medals, gold stars, bathroom scale
Movie Versions: Available from Boomerang for Instagram

Synopsis:
Very late 2015, after two months of stairs, stretches, and sitting on a yoga ball, the Bloblet stubbornly remained breach. A blindingly painful – yet unsuccessful – version procedure introduced very serious doubt as to the Blob’s ability to deliver the Bloblet. New Year’s Eve at noon – C-section scheduled and by 12:30 the bloblet was here. Scheduled and succinct, the procedure left the Blob thinking: “Why do it any other way.” Answers came later while re-learning to walk.

Confirmed maternity leave is neither vacation nor “mental health break.” But is WAS pretty darn nice. Initial workout goal: Walk to Starbucks. Revised workout goal: Walk to slightly more distant Starbucks. And so on.

4/10/2016 First race back – Capital 10,000. The Blobs ran it as a family. Blob managed the whole distance without stopping; Bloblet people-watched and napped; Superfan pushed the stroller up some of the more heinous hills in Central Texas. Success all around.Went on to sign up for, then no-show four different races. “Balance” and “priorities” took on new meaning.

Blob started back to work after Tax Season (savvy)  but in the smack-middle of an audit remediation project (oops). Kept head just barely above water until 30 days before project deadline when half my team left the company (wait, what?). Lost  60% of the team by the end of the year (oh, it’s the tragedy part!). Spent rest of life digging out of insurmountable email requests and complaints.

Blob and Bloblet team-taught yoga weekly most of the year. Garnered a good following, and had a ball arranging flows with soundtracks. All of it though just a pretext for greawt meals and better conversation weekly with The Granddude. Ultimately though, that top yoga student moved away. Devastating – not only to the remaining yogis – the move at least provided a three-day cross-county caper for The Blob, The Granddude, and Uncle Sparkee.

Fitness focus was on regaining. time and distance goals remain modest while things like First Sit Up have gained all new importance. In the unending quest for Balance, all fitness is now more mental than physical. Nutrition is new since starting the process of building the Bloblet. Calorie counting has become the dull girding of life, and effort remains strong to avoid discussing it.

Lost the Bloblet weight plus a little, but still have a bit to go. The last few are the hardest, and the perhaps quixotic battle to vanquish them will be detailed here ad (donut-resisting) nauseum. Tilt toward the windmill! With the rise of “nutrition” came “cooking.” God bless Blue Apron. But curse homemade baby pouches! Cooking for two: fun, relaxing, rewarding. Cooking for The Bloblet: steamy, blendy, broken-funneled mess. The Blob should eschew Supermom ideals for modern conveniences but hasn’t. For no reason whatsoever.

Snapshot:

Fitness: Good. Bottom of the mountain, climbing up.
Nutrition: Good. Integrating new skills, finding the flow.
Family: Good. Tightening bonds and adapting to changes.
Motherhood: Awesome. Easy, relaxing, rewarding. Also hones sarcasm.
Work: Rough. Realizing why it is a four-letter word.
Balance: As ever, elusive and aspirational.

Sequel: Expected.

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